It was beautiful with you once

(or l loved you like I should have loved myself)

We sat in our darkness

And reached for one another

And I fell into you like a dream.

It was beautiful with you once,

To dance with your demons

To hold them close

To let them become me.

And I would have stayed with you in darkness,

If you had held onto my hand,

If you had asked me to stay with you,

If only for a little while longer.

Though in the space that gathered between us

like withering oak,

I was never truly at home in your arms

I was never truly me.

But

It was beautiful with you once.

I was swayed by your darkness

I was seduced by pain

And I thought it made me whole

But my light kept calling me

(And while you shied away from yours

I embraced mine)

so, you stayed dancing with your demons,

but I could reach for your hand no longer….

It was beautiful with you once.